Sleeping Beauty
Another Fairy Tail Crossover by: Nemblewhiska

Some assistance by: Evil Twin

~

( scene opens to a dark, dank basement. You see a huddled figure by the wall. It strikes a match and in the light, you see it’s NEMBLEWHISKA. )

NEMBLEWHISKA: ( whispered ) Welcome to the second edition of The Story Hour. I have taken precautions to be sure my Evil Twin doesn’t show up. Watch OUT, you’re gonna sit on that rat!!!

READER: EW! I came here for a story, not the plague!

NEMBLEWHISKA: At least SHE'’LL never find me here. After that CindeRumpelteazer disaster, I was on medication for weeks. The doctor says one day, maybe I won’t twitch every time I hear the word, " slipper." Anyway, the story you will hear today is Sleeping Beauty. The cast is: Victoria as our heroine; Mistofelees as the Charming and Handsome Prince, and some other Jellicles. ( opens book ) Once upon a time?( shrieks and throws the book across the room ) NO!!!! NOT YOU!!!

READER: What?!? What’s your damage? ( picks up the book and looks in. EVIL TWIN is on the first page, waving ) Oh, it’s you.

EVIL TWIN: Hi, Nemble! I heard you were doing another stupid story, so I HAD to come help. Wow, are you able to do that on cue?

NEMBLEWHISKA: ( entire right side of her face is twitching uncontrollably ) GET OUT NOW!!! I DON’T NEED THIS KIND OF AGGRAVATION!!! How did you find me?!?

EVIL TWIN: ( shrugs ) I found this book in your room. So I jumped in it.

NEMBLEWHISKA: What were you doing in MY room without permission?

EVIL TWIN: To get that Ricky Martin CD you borrowed. By the way, I still have your Spice Girls CD. Want it back?

NEMBLEWHISKA: SHUSH! OK, I guess I can make an exception for that. But, GET OUTTA THE BOOK NOW!!!

EVIL TWIN: Can’t. Not till you tell the story. Are you getting a cramp in your eyelid from that?

NEMBLEWHISKA: ( right eye is still twitching, but the rest has calmed down ) Fine, stay here. See if I care. Once upon a time, there was a good king and queen that ruled over a peaceful kingdom. They had all they wanted, but for one thing.

EVIL TWIN: I’m betting they want a kitten.

NEMBLEWHISKA: ( making a heroic effort to ignore EVIL TWIN ) When Queen Jennanydots would see children playing in the park, she felt sad.

EVIL TWIN: I bet Skimbleshanks is the king. They’re one of her favorite couples.

NEMBLEWHISKA: SHUT UP!!! Yes, he is the king. Gotta problem with that?

EVIL TWIN: Why don’t you let ME narrate the story.( clears throat ) When King Skimbleshanks saw families walking the streets, he was also sad. So he sent a royal decree. NO FAMILIES ALLOWED! Within a week, the kittens were all gone, and Queen Jennyanydots was no longer reminded of her barreness. So they were both happy THE END.

NEMBLEWHISKA: THAT’S NOT HOW IT GOES!!! But, yeah Skimble was sad too. So they both rejoiced when they found out Jennyanydots was preg?lt;/P>

EVIL TWIN: Don’t say pregnant. Say ?with kitten ?It’s more correct.

NEMBLEWHISKA: FINE!!! She was with kitten. When the little one was born, they threw a celebration and invited all the Jellicle faeries. There were twelve of them. The queen had the table set with the finest gold plates and jeweled goblets, but she forgot the um, Ginger Faerie,

Macavity was coming. So, there were only eleven of these beautiful place settings. DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING YOU WISH TO SHARE, MISS EVIL!!!!

EVIL TWIN: ( has been laughing since the line, Ginger Faerie ) Oh, Nemble, you crack me up!

NEMBLEWHISKA: ( muscle in her cheek starts twitching ) So Macavity had to eat off china and sip from crystal. It angered him. When they were finished eating, the faeries went to bestow their gifts on the Princess Victoria.

CASSANDRA: She shall be the best dancer in the land.

BOMBALURINA: She will be lovely all her days.

JEMIMA: She will have a beautiful singing voice.

DEMETER: She will?lt;/P>

EVIL TWIN: You better give her the gift of not being paranoid.

DEMETER: What?

EVIL TWIN: C’mon, it reflects your personality! I can believe the first three gifts reflect the givers but if you give her something like being lucky in love, it just wouldn’t suit you.

DEMETER: You’re right. ( waves wand ) I give her the gift of not being paranoid.

( NEMBLEWHISKA does not look like she’s going to explode. She smiles. )

EVIL TWIN: Wow, I think that medication is a bit too strong. You don’t mind that I just screwed up your story? Vicky has a gift she wasn’t supposed to get!

NEMBLEWHISKA: That’s what YOU think. I knew you would try something like that, so I planned the story around the fact that Victoria can’t get paranoid.

EVIL TWIN: Curses! Foiled again! Okay, faeries give Victoria some really off-the-wall gifts! Maybe we can still trip her up.

ETCETERA: Is it my turn now?

NEMBLEWHISKA: No, in a little bit you’ll have your turn. Be patient.

JELLYLORUM: She will be an excellent cook.

EVIL TWIN: Okay, I can work with that. Maybe she cooks her own tail while drunk or something.

ETCETERA: Is it my turn now?

POUNCIVAL: No, it’s MY turn. She will be able to hawk a hairball fifty feet.

NEMBLEWHISKA: NO!!! A PRINCESS WOULDN’T WANT THAT GIFT!!! TAKE IT BACK!

POUNCIVAL: That’s what you get for making me a faerie in this story. HAHAHA! (attempts to storm away angrily, but his wings keep him hovering off the ground )

NEMBLEWHISKA: ( has almost reached the boiling point ) FINE, YOU’RE A LOUSY FAERIE ANYWAY!!! I SAW YOU FLYING AND YOU STINK!!!!!

ETCETERA: Is it my turn yet?

NEMBLEWHISKA: NO.

EXOTICA: People will actually notice she’s there.

( no one responds )

EXOTICA: Bloody Heck! I’m fading into the wall again!

ETCETERA: Is it my turn?lt;/P>

NEMBLEWHISKA: NO!!! SHUT UP, YOU ANNOYING LITTLE KITTEN!!!

( ETCETERA begins to cry )

JENNYANYDOTS: Really, Nemblewhiska, was that nessesary?

NEMBLEWHISKA: YES!!! SHE PUSHED ME TO IT!!!

RUMPELTEAZER: It’s MY turn now! She will be the best thief in the land.

EVIL TWIN: ALL RIGHT!!! I can really mess up the story now.

NEMBLEWHISKA: RUMPELTEAZER?!? You aren’t supposed to be in this fic! Not after what happened with Cinedudududududuh. Ha ha. Pardon me. ( clears throat ) After what happened with Cindu—Cindoohoo—FOR CRYIN?OUT LOUD! WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!? ISN’T IT BAD ENOUGH YOU GAVE ME A COMPLEX, NOW YOU HAVE TO COME BACK TO TORMENT ME?!? ARRRRRRRRGH!

RUMPELTEAZER: Does tha?mean?lt;/P>

NEMBLEWHISKA: ( roars and breathes fire at poor RUMPELTEAZER, who runs out of the room ) DOES ANYONE ELSE FROM CINDERUMPELTEAZER HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY TO ME?!? NO?! GOOD!!!( sweetly ) It’s your turn now, Etcetera.

ETCETERA: ( uncertainly ) Are you sure? I can go last if you want.

NEMBLEWHISKA: ( eyes narrow and begin to glitter ominously ) I want you to go now, Etcetera.

ETCETERA: Fine, I’ll go now! ( thinks hard ) The Rum Tum Tugger will think she’s pretty.

NEMBLEWHISKA: That’s all right, the Rum Tum Tugger isn’t in this story anyway.

ETCETERA: WHAT! Evil Twin, get back here! ( EVIL TWIN, who had started to sneak away when NEMBLEWHISKA said, ?that’s all right,?sighs and comes back )

ETCETERA: YOU promised me Tugger would be in this fic! That’s the only way you got me here!

EVIL TWIN: ( grins maliciously ) I lied.

ETCETERA: I’m leaving!

NEMBLEWHISKA: ( rubbing temples ) Calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean. OK. ( breathes deeply ) I’m better now. It was time for the Spotted Faerie, Tantomile, to give her gift, when Macavity decided to take his revenge.

EVIL TWIN: Take it where? On a walk?

MACAVITY: That doesn’t sound like something I’d get mad at. Maybe Jellylorum would be mad about the wrong tableware, but I just wanted the food.

NEMBLEWHISKA: THAT’S NOT THE POINT!!!!! THE OTHER FAERIES GOT HONORED ABOVE YOU!!! ( stops talking and starts popping tranquilizers like they’re peanuts ) My nerves are shredded.

MACAVITY: Come to think of it, I AM mad!!!

NEMBLEWHISKA: At Jennyanydots & Skimbleshanks?

MACAVITY: NO! AT YOU!!!!

NEMBLEWHISKA: The faster you curse Victoria, the sooner you get out of this story.

MACAVITY: Oh. In that case, * censored censored censored censored *

NEMBLEWHISKA: NOT THAT KIND OF CURSE!!! That was absolutely disgusting, by the way! You eat with that mouth?

MACAVITY: Yep. All right, gotta curse Victoria. I suppose I am to say, " She shall prick her finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel and die " or something, and Tantomile says, " She will not die, she will fall asleep until a handsome tom kisses her." Isn’t that it? Isn’t it?!?

NEMBLEWHISKA: ( pouts ) Maybe.

MACAVITY: Fine. She will prick her finger on the whatever of the thingamajig and die.

EVIL TWIN: Thingamajig, huh? Sounds real deadly.

NEMBLEWHISKA: ( tranqs have started to take effect ) Tantomile? Your turn.

TANTOMILE: ( was peacefully dozing; jerks awake at her name. ) I forgot, what do I say?

NEMBLEWHISKA: ( languidly waves hand upwards ) Look up there.

TANTOMILE: ( reads paragraph ) Oh, I see. Is a thingamajig sharp?

NEMBLEWHISKA: ( playfully ) Maaaaaaaybe!

EVIL TWIN: ( slips a caffiene pill in NEMBLEWHISKA’S drink ) I liked her better when she was postal.

TANTOMILE: She will not die, she will only fall asleep. There, how was that, Nemble?

NEMBLEWHISKA: ( appears to be fascinated by her own fingers ) Lookit how they move!

TANTOMILE: Yeah, wonderful, did you even hear me? Hello?

NEMBLEWHISKA: Is it me you’re looking for?/ And I wonder where you are/ I wonder what to do/ Are you somewhere feeling lonely/ Or is someone loving you?/ I can see it in your eyes/ You haven’t got a clue/ Um, what I want to say is/ I love you. Or something like that. What a great song. ( falls asleep )

TANTOMILE: What do we do now?

EVIL TWIN: WE do nothing. I am going out there by myself to wake her up. ( she jumps out of the book and lands by NEMBLEWHISKA. EVIL TWIN slaps her a little and yells,) WAKE UP!!!!!!

NEMBLEWHISKA: Ma, I don wanna go to school. Oh it’s you. Is the story over?

EVIL TWIN: ( worriedly ) No, have a drink of water.

NEMBLEWHISKA: Okey-dokey! ( takes sip and EVIL TWIN snickers ) What’s so funny?

EVIL TWIN: I’ll tell you later. Get back to the story now. Tantomile just undid the curse type thing. ( jumps in book )

NEMBLEWHISKA: All right, LET’S GET READY TO RUUUUUUUMMMBLE!!! Victoria grew up lovely. She was a great cook, a graceful dancer and she had perfect manners. Well, except for?( teenaged VICTORIA is seen hawking up a hairball )

PLATO: That was one of your better ones, Vicky! Fifty feet!

NEMBLEWHISKA: To make sure she wouldn’t touch the fatal spinning wheel?lt;/P>

EVIL TWIN: Thingamajig.

NEMBLEWHISKA: What?

EVIL TWIN: It’s a thingamajig that will kill her, not a spinning wheel.

NEMBLEWHISKA: Well, what the heck’s a thingamajig?!? ( starts bouncing her leg nervously ) How are they supposed to destroy all the thingamajigs in the land IF THEY DON’T FREAKIN?KNOW WHAT THEY ARE?!?

EVIL TWIN: I have a picture of a thingamajig. Here, see? ( unfolds paper, but only NEMBLEWHISKA can see it ) See, that goes there and that weird lookin?thing attaches there, and it’s a thingamajig!

NEMBLEWHISKA: OkIseenow, whatwasinthatwater?

EVIL TWIN: You’re better off not knowing.

NEMBLEWHISKA: Now that I know what a thingamajig is, the King issued a royal decree that all thingamajigs were to be destroyed, or else! So the Princess was safe from the thingamajigs. WowIcanfeelmyinsideswhirring! Onedaythekingandqueenwenttovisita

neighboringkingdomandleftVictoriaathome.

EVIL TWIN: I hope I didn’t make her OD on those things.

VICTORIA: Daddy and Mummy left me all alone. Whatever shall I do?

EVIL TWIN: THROW A RAVE!!!

VICTORIA: No, I think I’d rather explore the castle awhile.

NEMBLEWHISKA: Atta, girl, Vicky! Don’t listen to that b?lt;/P>

EVIL TWIN: ( clamps hand over NEMBLEWHISKA’s mouth ) Rhymes with witch. I thought you wanted this G-rated. YEEEEEEEOOOOOWWW!!! You BIT me, you cannibal!

NEMBLEWHISKA: Aw, does the Evil Twin have a widdle owie? Serves you right! Princess Victoria began to explore the castle. She went into a tower and found an old woman spinning…no, sewing, ah heck, what do you use a thingamajig for, anyway?

EVIL TWIN: How should I know? This is YOUR story.

NEMBLEWHISKA: But YOU made it up!

EVIL TWIN: Actually, I printed that picture off the Internet. I don’t know what it is. Didn’t you notice there are no sharp edges on it?

NEMBLEWHISKA: HOW IS SHE SUPPOSED TO PRICK HER FINGER ON IT?!? ANSWER ME THAT, GENIUS!!!

EVIL TWIN: How’s about you let the characters tell the story, huh?

NEMBLEWHISKA: Hmmm, odd idea, but it might work. Guys, go ahead.

VICTORIA: What is that thing, ma’am?

GRIZABELLA: It’s a thingamajig.

VICTORIA: What’s it for?

GRIZABELLA: I have no idea. Hey, aren’t I dead?

VICTORIA: I think you are, but I have to prick my finger on that thing and fall asleep.

GRIZABELLA: Good luck! This piece of junk has no sharp edges anywhere. Believe me, I’ve looked.

VICTORIA: Could you help me out here? That part right there MIGHT work. Here, take my hand and push that at it.

NEMBLEWHISKA: ( is running laps around the room ) This is REALLY stupid. That did NOT sound like Sleeping Beauty one bit!

VICTORIA: Yes! My finger is pricked. Oh. Blood. I’m bleeding. There’s blood on my finger.

GRIZABELLA: Is something wrong, dear?

VICTORIA: No, I just…don’t like the sight of blood? faints )

NEMBLEWHISKA: Ok. She’s asleep. GET THE HANDSOME PRINCE OUT THERE TO KISS HER!!!

EVIL TWIN: Isn’t she supposed to be asleep for like, a hundred years or something?

NEMBLEWHISKA: Wehavenotimeforthat!!!! CARPE DIEM!!!

EVILTWIN: Watch your language!

NEMBLEWHISKA: English, what’s yours?

GRIZABELLA: We don’t need a handsome prince! I can wake her up easy! ( throws cold water on VICTORIA’S face ) Hmm, it didn’t work.

NEMBLEWHISKA: Of course it didn’t work, it’s a curse! Go away! We don’t need you in the story now!

GRIZABELLA: Well! I’ve never been spoken to like that in my life! I’m leaving!

NEMBLEWHISKA: Good. The prince in the neighboring kingdom, Mistofelees, heard of what had befallen the princess. Now, he didn’t care for Victoria that much, but he knew she could hawk a hairball a good long way, and he thought if he helped her, she would show him her secret.

EVIL TWIN: Hey, even I couldn’t screw that up! You good! You tha girl! Wow, how are you doing that?!?

NEMBLEWHISKA: ( is crawling on the ceiling ) I’m not sure. WHERE IS THE DARN STUPID PRINCE!!!

EVIL TWIN: You only wrote him in three seconds ago! And you made him the Fairy Godmother last story. How do you know he’s coming at all?

NEMBLEWHISKA: BECAUSE I SAID SO, THAT’S WHY!!! Oh, look, here he comes!

MISTOFELEES: ( scowling )What do I have to do to get out of this story?

EVIL TWIN: How did you get him here?

NEMBLEWHISKA: Oh…just a little note explaining my need…and a little something extra ( tucks envelope labeled, " MISTOFELEES PHOTOS: CINDERUMPELTEAZER " out of sight in her pocket ) Well, get on with it!! Kiss her, you twit!

EVIL TWIN: If looks could kill, Nemble, you would be dead and buried.

VICTORIA: ( munching popcorn. the kind with butter and salt. )Or maybe cremated.

NEMBLEWHISKA: You said it, Vic—VICTORIA!!!!! WHY AREN’T YOU SLEEPING?!?

VICTORIA: ( shrugs ) I put a Band-Aid on. It wasn’t that bad.

EVIL TWIN: That means the story’s over! YAY!

NEMBLEWHISKA: ( is so mad she can barely speak ) But, kiss…sleeping…faerie?thingamajig…Mistofelees…Tantomile…Band-Aid?lt;/P>

EVIL TWIN: You want me to kiss the sleeping faerie thingamajig and Mistofelees and Tantomile need a Band-Aid?

NEMBLEWHISKA: ( passes out )

VICTORIA: ( to MISTOFELEES ) You are really cute. Kiss me, you fool!

EVIL TWIN: Cats can’t?lt;/P>

VICTORIA & MISTOFELEES: SHUT UP!!! ( MISTOFELEES throws a lightning bolt at EVIL TWIN, which blows her out the tower window. They then kiss. )

RUM TUM TUGGER: Hey, all you ladies out there…I get to tell you it’s

THE END

ETCETERA: TUGGER!!!! I knew you were here!! ( squeals happily ) Sing a song for me, Tuggy!!! ( rushes to hug him )

NEMBLEWHISKA: ( comes to ) Is the story over?

RUM TUM TUGGER: AUUUUGH!!!!

NEMBLEWHISKA: I thought you liked her gushing all over you.

RUM TUM TUGGER: I do.

NEMBLEWHISKA: Then why did you scream?

RUM TUM TUGGER: What?!? I’m singing!!!

NEMBLEWHISKA: Oh! ( blushes ) In that case, ( pulls red curtain shut )

THE END

Author’s notes: Hi, everyone! Howya doin? I hope you liked the story, and even if you didn’t, I hope you laughed at parts of it! I wasn’t exactly going for great, beautiful, insightful writing with this story, I was just going for some laughs. Pwetty pwease rate this story? See y’all next fic!