MACAVITY'S (ATTEMPTED) REVENGE!!!!!!!
by JestaAriadne (jesta.ariadne[ at] gmail.com) September 2001
Very silly and crazy... I mean, even for me. But it's only a page or so long, so it won't waste too much of your time.

~

To set the scene: The Jellicles were well, geez, they were doing whatever they wanted to! I'm not in control of their lives you know. ANYWAY there they were, under the Jellicle moon, when....

Suddenly, a thing that didn't actually look amazingly like a cat, but which was generally accepted, cos, well, hey he's famous!, entered this little scene. Most of the jellicles immediately looked around but then went back to what they were doing, pretending not to notice.

Pretty soon, though, they started to look a little uneasy and nudge each other. Bombalurina nudged her sister very hard. "Um, Dem? What do you say?"

"Ouch!" was her immediate reaction. Then Demeter looked up from Tugger's tail and at the large cat-thing-whatever! that was glaring at her.

"Oops. Sorry. Ahem." She seemed to building up to something.. "Ahem. MACAVITY!" she shrilled.

"'Bout time." muttered more than one cat. Everyone swung round with rather less-than-stunned-expressions towards Macavity.

"Roar." Macavity said.

There were audible groans, not screams, groans.

"Look, Macavity," said Munkustrap. "We really need to talk about this. Not to offend you or anything but you were never really scary, and all this jumping in and saying roar has become, well, annoying."

He was forced to take a hasty backstep as Macavity lashed out with bright red claws.

"I will not talk to the likes of you!" growled Macavity.

"You just did." pointed out smart alec Mistoffeles.

"SHUT UP!"

"Um... Macavity?" began Bombalurina.

"What?" said Macavity in what was probably meant to be a low threatening growl, but he actually sounded a little nervous of what the queen was going to say.

"Why are you wearing nail varnish?"

"It's BLOOD!"

"Let me see that!" said Jemima in a tone of great interest, coming forward. "It's nail varnish, alright. In fact, it's GRIZABELLA's nail varnish!"

"No! No! It's blood, really!" Macavity sounded genuinely worried and scared of all the laughing jellicles around him. "Or it does at least LOOK like blood? Doesn't it?" Jemima shook her head sadly.

Macavity decided to make a sharp exit. He jumped up onto a tyre and tried to switch the lights off, before realising that the only lights were the stars and moon. Still, desperate for SOME sort of dramatic effect, he jumped backwards, trying to block out the moon.

He he fell straight through the hole in the tyre. FIRM PROOF THAT MACAVITY IS NOT A JELLICLE: he fell feet first but landed on his head. Ouch.

 

The End!