A/N: This all began with a school Civil War project, so... yeah... this has kind of turned into a series, hence the title 'The Original'. The cats are all cat-people, hence their ability to do stuff like wear hats and carry swords... It's totally whacked over but, if you're crazy enough to read it after this warning, be my guest, and don't forget to tell me if you like it! Please, read on!
~
carbuckettycue and company
present...
in association with the Hidden
Paw...
Cavi and Munku's Civil
War
Scene one:
narrator: It was cloudy but the mid-day sun peeked through the clouds. In the junkyard, two cats stand with swords crossed...
Macavity: Prepare to die, Munkustrap!
(Before Munku can respond, the Author, carbuckettycue, interrupts, freezing the scene)
carbuckettycue: Hold it! It says here that actual sword fights were really rare.
(Munku drops his arm, lowering the sword)
Munku (crossly): Let me see!
(carbuckettycue leans over and shows Munku the papers)
Cavi (exasperatedly): Well then what are we supposed to do?
carbuckettycue: Ummmm... go away Cavi!
(carbuckettycue flaps her hand imperiously and Cavi disappears)
(carbuckettycue turns to look at Munku)
carbuckettycue: And you! Organize your army!
Munku (whining): Why? Cavi's my friend!
carbuckettycue: Now!!!
(carbuckettycue hands Munku a harvey hat and disappears)
(Munku turns the hat over in his hands)
Munku: Now what do I do with this?
Scene 2:
narrator: It is evening. The rising moon peers through the ever present clouds. Munkustrap sits on the tire before the gathered Jellicles, harvey hat sitting uselessly in his lap.
carbuckettycue: What?! In his lap?!!
narrator: I tell it like it is. Now on with the story.
Jemima: Why are we fighting Macavity?
Pouncival (in a duh voice): He kidnapped Old Deuteronomy!
Etcetera: Yeah, but Misto got Old Deuteronomy back...
(Munku raises his hand signaling for silence)
Munku: We're fighting Cavi 'cause the author said to!
Jellicles: Ohhhhh!!!!
carbuckettycue: No!!!No!!!No!!!You're fighting Cavi because he's threatening to leave the Jellicles with...
(she trails off and a little less then half of the present Jellicles disappear)
Pounci: Hey!We can't fight our friends!
(Rum Tum Tugger sighs, rolls his eyes, and rests his head on his hand)
Tugger: I don't want to fight no war.
(All of the present Jellicles murmur their agreement)
(carbuckettycue smacks her forehead in exasperation)
carbuckettycue: It's just a play! Quit your whining!
(Tugger looks away and kicks his feet lazily)
Tugger: So why's it so important? If I may ask?
carbuckettycue: No, it's too important for you to understand!
narrator: Well, actually...
carbuckettycue (shrieks): No! you can't tell them!
narrator: Now who are you telling what to do? You young author are coming straight up her and having a little talking to!
(carbuckettycue disappears with a cry of dismay)
Munku: So, ummm... anyway... does anyone know what to do with this?
(Munku holds up the harvey hat and waves it around)
Jellicles: Put it on!!!!!
(Munku looks at the hat like 'oh!' and pushes it onto his head)
Scene 3:
(Munku raises his gun with a look of 'how do I use this?')
narrator: Hey! No starting the scene without me!
(Munku lowers the gun)
Munku: Why not?
narrator: I'm the Everlasting Cat!
carbuckettycue: He is!!!!
narrator (clears throat): Heh, heh, anyway... It was a clear dawn when the two armies met for their first battle...
(Munku raises his gun with that look of 'how do I use this, anyway?')
narrator: I see you finally put the hat on, Munku.
Munku: Leave me alone... please!!
Cavi: What are you going to do with that, Munku?
Munku: I dunno.
(Munku lowers his gun again)
Munku: Mr. Everlasting Cat, sir?
narrator: Yes?
Munku: Can we stop this?
narrator: carbuckettycue?
carbuckettycue: Only if we get a romantic ending!
(Even the Rum Tum Tugger sits up and looks interested)
(Cavi grins)
Cavi: Okay!!
(Cavi flings his arms around Munku and kisses him)
(As the curtain falls, a 'blech' from Tugger is heard)
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡~The
End~!!!!!!!!