All cats are gathered around waiting to be told what they are doing.
"Alright people! Over here please!"
This is the cast list for Tantolina….."
"Excuse me?"
"Shush… just read the list"
All cats gather round.
Tantolina – Tantomile
Old Tom - Admetus
Old Queen – Victoria
Fairy – Cassandra
Father Toad – Alonzo
Fish – Skimbleshanks, Jennyanydots, Jellylorum, Plato
Beetle – Rum Tum Tugger
Beetle's Friends – Quaxo, Pouncival, Tumblebrutus,
Mrs Field Mouse – Munkustrap
Mr Mole – Mungojerrie
Swallow - Jemima
Fairy/Flower King – Coricopat
Fairies – Etcetera, Electra, Demeter, Rumpleteazer
Narrator – Bombalurina
Props, Behind the scenes etc – Asparagus
Munk – Oh good lord! Why do I always have to be a cross dresser! This is so unfair!
Sounds of muffled laughter is heard from all cats.
CT – Because you are ok! Any other problems?
Etcetera – Hah! My name's there twice.
CT – What?! It shouldn't be
Grabs cast list and looks carefully It's only there once!
Etcetera – Nup! It's with the props as well as for being a fairy.
All cats groan
Victoria – I don't wanna be an old lady!
CT – But you're a nice old lady!
Victoria – Oh, ok then.
Goes of smiling happily poking her tongue out at Etcetera.
CT – Shall we begin?
All Cats – No!
Chibi Teazer ignores them and shover the first two characters on.
~TANTOLINA~ PART ONE
Bombalurina – There once lived a couple who longed to have a kitten, but their wish never came true…. Oh how dumb….
CT – Bombalurina….
Bomalurina – Ok! Ok! Putting on a high pitched voice At last, the woman went to a fairy and asked for her help.
Victoria – Knocking on a door Hello! Is anyone home??
Cassandra – Aww c'mon hold yer horses! Door opens and we see a slightly hungover Cassandra. Watcha want?
Victoria – I want to have a kitten but nothing erm seems to well happen.
Cassandra – Reaching behind her pulls out a packet of carrot seeds Plant these in a flower pot and water it carefully. Now if you'll 'scuse me yawning I gotta get some…. She collapses behind the door.
Bombalurina – Soon a beautiful er… What is this cr…
CT – No swearing!!! Young kittens could be reading this!
Bombalurina – Fine then! Soon a beautiful carrot rolls her eyes sprang up.
Victoria – Oh how beautiful…. She kisses the top of the carrot.
Bombalurina – As she kissed the carrot the leaves at the top of it opened up to reveal a slightly green kitten. Wait! Slightly green?
Vicci – Well, she was made out of the carrots leaves wasn't she?
Bombi – Right….. the old queen called her mate.
Vicci – Admetus! Where are you! Our kitten has been, well, born!
Admetus – I'm coming! Sheesh!
Bombi – The queen and her tom named the kitten Tantolina. She was so small that the two cats had to make her bed out of a walnut shell.
Tantolina – Oh no you don't! There is no way you're getting me inside that shell!
Teazer – Wot r'you complainin bou'! Jerrie and I 'ave slep' in much worse places than tha'!
Jerrie – Hey Teaze! Remembuh the toime we go' locked ou' and we 'ad to sleep in the vegetable gardin?
Teazer – Oh yeah. Moi neck 'urt sooooooo much af'er tha'!
CT – Excuse me? We have a story to finish here! Tantomile get in the walnut shell!
Tant – Geez, ok ok keep your hair on! Gets into the walnut.
Bombi – During the day, the queen kept a bowl on the table filled with water. He he he and Tantolina amused herself by rowing around in it on a rose petal. In yah go Tantolina! Pushes Tanto into the bowl 'accidentally'
Tant – Bombalurina!!!!!
Bombi – Yah? Just doing what the script told me ter do…. Oh yeah she notices Asparagus pointing to the script behind the scenes She used two white horsehairs for oars. Screaming is heard and Tantomile is seen almost drowning under two huge pieces of horsehair. All the toms are laughing. But wait everyone! There's more! As she rowed, she sang in the tiniest, prettiest voice imaginable!
Tant – Oh no! Chibi Teazer there is no way you are gettin me singing!
CT – Ok! We'll erm skip that bit….
Bombi – Oh joy! Wait until you here this! She is silenced by a bucket of water spilling on her head. Tantomile is seen above her.
Tant – Lets call that payback. Now shaddup and keep to the script.
Bombi – Through gritted teeth One night a big ugly toad hopped..
Alonzo – Hey! I'm not big and ugly!
Jenny – No dear of course your not but for now please stick to the script. It will get this stupid story over quicker.
Bombi – I'll try again. One night a toad hopped through the window. When he saw Tantolina in her walnut evil glare from the general vicinity of walnut shell he though:
Alonzo – You'll make the perfect bride for my son… er I don't have a son… guys?
Bombi – Shaddup! The toad snatched the walnut grunting is heard as Alonzo tries to pick up the shell with Tant in it. He finally gives up and drags it away. He carried er he dragged her to him home in the swamp and set her down on a large lillypad. Then he went to fetch… yeah right that's a game you play with a pollicle… his son. While he was gone Tantolina woke up. She began to cry.
Tant – I'm sorry. I don't cry.
CT – Well, could you just pretend? For me?
Tant – Hissing through teeth quietly I'm never going to live this down. Starts to 'mock' cry.
Rum Tum Rugger – Talking to the other toms. Gawsh! This is soooo boring!! I know how I can fix this! Bellows to the cats on stage. TEA BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHIBI Teazer HAS PROVIDED FREEEEEEEEEE FISH!!!!!
CT – I have?
~Finis~ Part One