(This really happened. Well, OK, I embroidered my thoughts a bit, but the conversation itself is fairly accurate...)
I was, in fact, wondering if this cat might possibly be a relation of Mistoffelees. She (I'm pretty sure it was a she, though I didn't get to check the particulars- I was only there for a few moments!) was black all over apart from a patch of white on her chest. Green eyes though, and she seemed a good deal, erm, larger than Mistoffeles. But anyway, remembering my manners I took an awkward bow. Very awkward - I was staying at my grandparents house and the cat in question was in fact their neighbour's of whom I knew nothing, and was sitting on top of their wheely-bin, just over the fence.
"O, Cat," I saluted her politely. Having no hat to take off, I bowed again.
"Meow." Now, this simple statement may seem unobjectionable and even agreeable on paper (well, a computer screen), but I am more discerning than that. I took in the arched back, the stretching forepaws with perhaps just a hint of the claw emerging, and realised that this meow was not as friendly as it might first have appeared. I translated. "Go away."
Hmm, thought I, we seem to have got off rather on the wrong foot. Undeterred, however - there was bound to be some sort of misunderstanding, all I had done was greet her!- I tried again.
"O, Cat!"
"Meow!" Translation: "Are you stupid or something?"
I fished in my pockets for any dishes of cream or Strausbourg pies that might be lurking therein. Nothing. Well- it should be alright, thought I; I wasn't requiring the cat to treat me as a trusted friend right then and there, just a bit of civility would have been fine. However, the cat certainly had other ideas.
"Hello. Are you a Jellicle?"
"Mee-oow." ("Didn't I tell you to go away?")
Now this was getting annoying. Time to assert my authority. "Excuse me, but you're not answering my question. I was wondering-"
"Rheow *hiss* *glare*!"
"Oh right... in that case...Well...um maybe not." Definately not the perfect introduction. Oh well, better cut my losses and move on.
"Farewell."
"Meeow." ("Good riddance to you!")
The Moral of This Story: Some cats are just stupid!
MEEEEEEEEEEOOOOWWW!!! ("Objection! REAL moral: most humans are much stupider!")