Nessa: Here at last is the Tugger episode you were so pleased to hear
about. :P

Voila...

~

Lina: Noooooooo! Just get on with the pantomime!

Exotica&Electra: We are the invisible people who speak in spooky
mysterious voices.

Tugger (snorts): Well that clarifies everything.

Munku: Oh....um..great.

Exotica: Come with us.

(They go into the big palace-y type thing)

Jemima: Beauty.

Munku (says): Aah.

Lina: No! Jem, you growl more and Munkustrap, "aah" means scream.

Jemima: BEAUTY!

Munku: (screams shrilly)

Tugger: Munkustrap's a girlie, Munkustrap's a girlie! (giggles)

Munku: Tugger...you are SO caned! Only Macavity and the Rumpus Cats
NORMALLY have red-eye!

Jenny: Oh!

Tugger: What? No, I mean, why would I do that?

Munku: To look hard???

Jenny (panicky): Kitten's Warning! Drugs are ILLEGAL, Tugger!

Lina: Um...salvia isn't!

Jenny: WHAT????

Lina: Nothing! (looks innocent)

[A/N: And she is...just so you know!]

Jenny: Oh ok. But Tugger!

Tugger: But I'm NOT monged out or anything! It was just Munkustrap
saying that. I shall sue him for libel! (strikes a pose) Don't be dumb
kids, drugs aren't cool!

Jenny: (sighs with relief)

Tuger: or rather dope isn't, I'm a hard guy, I go for the hard stuff!
I'm a dealer. Flog you an eighth?

Jenny: (faints)

Tugger: Just kidding, I wouldn't EVER do anything to upset my
wonderful fans or set a bad example to kittens.

Munku: What fans?

Tugger: the ones, YOU don't have.

Lina (seeing Munkustrap's about to attack Tugger): Um..can we go on
with the play?

Jemima: Beauty, will you marry me?

Munku (squeaks): M-marry you? No!

(Tugger cracks up and lies on the floor laughing hysterically)

Jemima: They'll show you your rooms. Don't worry, you're perfectly safe here.

Tugger: Safe as a box of catnip when Teazer's around. To clarify: downright dangerous!

Teazer: Teehee!

Lina: Tuggeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer! (grinds teeth)

(Munkustrap leaves with the invisible Exotica and Electra)

Jemima: Oh merde! I'll never get her to take this dumb spell off me.

(she stomps off)

Tugger: Spell? Smell? Swell!

Munku: I'm so frightened. There's no place like home, there's no place
like home, there's no place like- damn it didn't work.

Misto: (leaping out from behind a curtain) Never fear, be of good
cheer, your furry godmother is here! And from this hour, due to my
power, your happiness will not turn sour!

Tugger: Even in the shower.

Munku: Huh?

Misto: I will give you a magic fissssssssssssssssssssh which will give
you three wissssssssssssssshesssssssssss precioussssss,

Munku: Okaaaaaaaaaay.

Tugger: FISH! HIS FISH!

Lina: Tugger! 1. No private jokes. 2. No interruptions.

Misto: Duhduh! (He hands Munkustrap a fish)

Munku: How does it work?

[A/N: I know, I know, I've made him really really dumb. But it was bad Lina to write such a dumb script]

Misto: (with a supposedly mystic gesture, that actually looked like he was trying to imitate a budgie) You have to work it out, you doofus! Ner ner na ner ber! TAXI!

Taximan [i.e. Alonzo]: Hey! How are you? You're looking mighty fine today.

Misto: Oh help!

Taximan: C'mon, I'll take you for a ride.

Misto: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! (He runs away)

Taximan: Phew! It was the only way I could think of to make him leave me alone. He keeps stalking me and sending me loveletters and my mate doesn't like it.

Cass: (from offstage) No, I DON'T like it!

(Exit Taximan)

Alonzo: Hey! Is that all I get to do?

Munku: Be grateful! She'll put you in a dress if you're not careful.

Lina: Oh no, that's a privilege I reserve for you, Munky. Carry on.

part 6...